Thank you Tristen, Jocelyn and Kristen for your feedback on my analysis of Adam’s writing and the lesson I created for him. You brought up some interesting questions that I had either not considered or I did consider them and forgot to explicitly include them in my write up.
I think we all agreed on my assessment of Adam’s writing based on the examples I shared and the short discussion we had in class. Kristen, you bring up a great question about whether or not Adam’s teacher knows that he has a desire to create his own comics. To answer this, I am not sure but I will surely notify his teacher in any final letter we write to him. Tristen also made a good point that I had not considered in my analysis. If Adam prefers to write comics, then this may be why his essay included back and forth dialog, something often found in comics. In the case of comics, pictures are often the source of greater details. This was a great connection! Based on all of your feedback, I think my assessment was fairly accurate for Adam’s writing based on the writing sample I received. Therefore, there is nothing more that I would add or change at this time.
As for my lesson plan, you all raised some great questions. First, I would like to clarify what I know about voice and point of view/perspective because I know at least Jocelyn was interested in the difference. From what I know, each piece of writing is created from at least one point of view, in the eyes of a character or narrator. Voice is how once specific point of view is communicated consistently to the reader in order to determine the difference between and to learn more about different characters. Additionally it is created to be as if the character is speaking directly to the reader. Elements learned about a character through their “voice” are not always explicitly shared through their point of view. Since point of view usually comes more naturally to a writer, and since the focus on voice also adds details, I chose to focus on this for Adam.
Jocelyn also asked if I would be “addressing what types of words those are that reflect a character's age, personality, and point of view”, and I did plan on this in my lesson. On day 2 of my lesson I stated “Questions to raise: Does all writing have a voice? How does sentence length vary from character to character? Sentence structure? Word choice? Word order, etc.?” In this conversation I would be ready with examples including how longer sophisticated sentences might demonstrate an older and more educated character. Whereas shorter sentences with less sophisticated words, maybe using slang, may demonstrate a younger or teenage character. I would provide the small group with other examples that would also allow the students to focus on what they saw/heard demonstrated in the Voices in The Park story (and me not just telling them). It is in this discussion that we will call upon word choice, also asked by Jocelyn.
A second piece I would like to add or clarify in my lesson is the inclusion of the optimal learning model, as described in Routman and as suggested by Jocelyn. I thought through the model as I created the lesson although I did not explicitly call it out. On day one of my lesson the focus is on shared reading as we read Voices in The Park; this shared demonstration according to Routman. Routman says this can be used to demonstrate and discuss “the author’s craft (figures of speech, leads, endings)”, which I think would include the idea of voice. For this day Jocelyn asks how I would model for the students how to find textual support to back up their claims about a character’s personality. In doing this, I would be providing examples on the character that I chose to explore. I note this in my lesson by saying I would “think aloud to demonstrate how to use the chart with the first voice”. I see that I could have been more explicit here. I think this aspect of the lesson, when students begin searching the text on their own, would be guided practice since students are primarily doing the work and I am there for support if needed. Throughout the rest of the lesson, responsibility sifts back and forth between teacher and student. Teacher shows students how to do something by demonstrates, does it with the students, and then asks them to do it by themselves.
A final piece that I would like to add to my lesson plan would be to ask the students to take risks in their writing by including “personal details that reveal the person behind the words” as suggested in the Six Trait Assessment and as pointed out by both Kristen and Tristen. This is an excellent addition to the lesson and I think this could make the writing piece more meaningful to the small group.
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